I Am Not Your Journal

Photo by Mille Sanders on Unsplash

a random pair of ears for you to

spit meaningless words into.

And I am not the red handprint

that you deliberately placed on my vulnerable face

after an anger session.

Not so hard next time, doll.

And I am not your wasted tears,

falling on priceless glass

after your infidelity confession.

And I am not the scattered soil

you constantly kick

when the going gets tough.

The silent earth dirt

includes feelings, too, you know,

like all undeserving humans.

And I am not your moron spouse,

putting up with your sky high ego and unfair hair.

The bills cost more than your dismal life.

And I am not your journal,

full of pathetic print and cursive carvings,

containing thought stories and suicide poems.

Get a life, you attention whore.

And I am not your dream.

Go wake up in a dungeon

filled with no remorse and broken memories.

And I am not the hated race

that you portray us ‘monsters’ to be.

Go fuck yourself, you bigot.

Pardon such a word,

but you must admit that you deserved it.

And I am not the poet you thought I was.

I am stronger and tougher-hearted.

I deserve better than you scum.

You are dead dust to me.

And I am not as sane as you remember.

Every wall is white and cushioned.

Every house is overflowing with men in white suits

who administer ending lobotomies.

And I am not your punching bag.

Take your anger out on

the steel trees and brick houses.

My face must stop its constant bleeding.

And I am not your journal,

ink scratching, lead erasing,

mind changing, memories fading.

And I am not your memories,

distant flashbacks

with no discussion value.

Your twisted mind makes

the room go silent.

And I am not a rat.

No attention, no love,

scraps of food and

plenty of filth to lounge around in.

And I am not a typical man.

I live for love and romance.

I breathe the power of togetherness

and I eat commitment with a fork and knife.

And I am not your journal,

psychotic sentences with polluted punctuation.

Time to burn this forbidden book.

And I am not going to

take your shit

another day more!

Copyright © Z.M. Wise
Republished with permission from Z. M. Wise.